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Hell-0
So, I said I was going to be musically away from newgrounds for a while. I didn't let on why. So the reason why is:
I'm trying to complete a 13 song album. YAY!

Here I am, Stuck on song 4.

I NEED YOUR HELP!

Right now I have a rough copy, mix, and voxed up song for #4 on the album. The notes are a bit off from time to time, as I"m just messing with melodies still. Where I'm stuck is, on the chorus melody, and would love some feed back.

So far I have two different chorus melodies. One at 0:57 and the other at 2:00.
Here is the song:

http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen /281082

Thanks for the help NG.<3

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The People Have Spoken

12 Comments

Oct. 17, 2009 | 7:36 PM Kilgorn says:

the song is really badass, but you do need to change something about the chorus, i just dont know what because i am not trained musically

Oct. 17, 2009 | 9:31 PM Bad-Man-Incorporated responds:

It's all good, dude. Its awesome to have input from people that are NOT trained as well. That doesn't mean they can't give helpful input. You know what you like to hear. Thanks man. Working on it.

Oct. 17, 2009 | 7:41 PM TauntTheOstrich says:

I would have to say the :57 is my favorite... not sure why it just really caught my attention, it seems more fitting. but I don't know jack about music either so its just all opinion <_<

Oct. 17, 2009 | 9:33 PM Bad-Man-Incorporated responds:

Cool, that works. Not knowing gives a whole different insight to your advice. While I love to hear what fellow musicians have to say, and wouldn't be here if I didn't listen to them...its also great to know from the general POTENTIAL consumer as well. haha

You may not know about music theory, notes, all that jazz...you just know what you like to hear. And that makes all the difference. Thank you.

Updated: Oct. 17, 2009, 9:34 PM

Oct. 17, 2009 | 8:16 PM 95688kage says:

Anarchy's melodie is the first random song name a came up with.

Put in some cool shit than put in that is anarchy's melodie.

wtf

Oct. 17, 2009 | 9:34 PM Bad-Man-Incorporated responds:

Yep, me too. :D

Oct. 17, 2009 | 9:54 PM Jinxerz says:

I too like the first progression. It's more ear catching, seems to fit better with the trend of the song. Not a big fan of the vocal effects, think they'd sound better raw, tbh with ya, then again, I'm not a huge fan of scream/roar metal either, more of a power/thrash man myself.

The second chorus almost seems... I wanna say hesitant, and this song screams "I'M RAMMING MY MUSIC DOWN YOUR EARS, NOW LIKE IT MOTHERFUCKER!" so there's no room for that kind of feeling. You've got a very progressive heavy chugging, so having the chorus let up just doesn't seem right. At least, that's the way I hear it.

Oct. 17, 2009 | 11:05 PM Bad-Man-Incorporated responds:

Ah, very good point. I do like the second melody, a lot. But I think you hit the nail on the head there. It is really hesitant. For multiple reasons, really. The melody isn't really conducive for too many words. I tried pushing more words into the second chorus' melody. It sounded silly because I had to break apart words and that made it sound forced. With less words it sounded better for stretching the notes out. But, it seemed that I had to wait to actually sing it. And while recording I found that a bit frustrating.

Fucking excellent call, man. Maybe adding more syllabic words would help, But I don't think so. Breakthrough with Dr JINXERZ. :D Thanks man.

Back to the drawing board. :D

Updated: Oct. 17, 2009, 11:06 PM

Oct. 17, 2009 | 11:02 PM bandit112 says:

i like it, but i think the voc's need a bit of a change. the highs are good, lows need to be lower. but thats just me. its good.

Oct. 17, 2009 | 11:08 PM Bad-Man-Incorporated responds:

Cool man, which lows, the singing or pooing ones?

Oct. 18, 2009 | 2:00 AM Billy-Bean says:

It needs a little more billy-bean in it is what it needs you mother fucker. <3

Oct. 18, 2009 | 3:58 PM Bad-Man-Incorporated responds:

Not this one dude. The next one.

Oct. 18, 2009 | 2:31 AM flyingmonkey456 says:

throw in a few pinch harmonics and you'll be fine :)

Oct. 18, 2009 | 3:58 PM Bad-Man-Incorporated responds:

Good Idea. Thanks!

Oct. 19, 2009 | 4:32 PM Kupia says:

I think you should keep the song the way it is right now but if i had to choose between the 2 chorus i'd choose the 1st one ;D

Oct. 23, 2009 | 12:25 PM Bad-Man-Incorporated responds:

Thank you, Kupia. :D

Oct. 22, 2009 | 12:01 AM SlayerX3 says:

both chorus melodies fitted well in the song you know, it is cool to have s aong with more than one chorus, unless you want to use one of them in another song and make it a sequel of the first one

all I had to say about it is already in my review

keep rocking \m/

Oct. 23, 2009 | 12:25 PM Bad-Man-Incorporated responds:

Thanks dude!

Oct. 31, 2009 | 8:01 AM CWN says:

Just left a review on the song..
Going to elaborate a little further here, as to why I'm going with chorus 2:

It's just fucking catchy. You can memorize those few lines within seconds. The rest of the song, you're throwing lyrics at the listener. A chorus should really stand out as a chorus. The prechorus is so upbeat and in your face, that you really need a break after that, the long articulation of the words just fits better... (by the way, the prechorus really REALLY fucking rocks... love it.. the progression leading towards the chorus is ingenious) Plus I just really prefer the soaring melody. It makes the song a lot more theatrical, giving it an epic touch.
Repeat the chorus is the end. REPEAT IT. OMG. The build up is just screaming for it.
in the end, let the guitars ring out like you already have em, then make a short tom build up dumdumDumDumDUMDUM FAAAAAAAAALLING TO PIEEEECESS... omg epic. 2.nd voice. 2ND FUCKING VOICE IN THE END!!!! I have one in my head right now... If you cut the 2nd chorus, I'm going to steal it and use it myself lol
:D

Hope my weird comment helped you somehow.

Nov. 1, 2009 | 12:44 PM Bad-Man-Incorporated responds:

This is gold.

Nov. 14, 2009 | 4:06 PM snazzy101 says:

i need your help! i have found someone taking credit for someone elses work.
a user by the name of Alexander Ellis (AlxEllis) is the one doing this. this link goes to loft: http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/liste n/214933 and this link goes to lose her mind: http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/liste n/214932 Both these songs where stolen from a homebrew program called psp rhythm 8 i have proof of this at these two links: http://beemp3.com/index.php?q=psp+rhy thm+loft&st=all
http://beemp3.com/download.php?file=2 012051&song=Lose+Her+Mind
please help me with this thief.

Nov. 15, 2009 | 12:10 PM Bad-Man-Incorporated responds:

Thanks

Nov. 19, 2009 | 12:58 PM Kupia says:

so...how's it going?Are you still stuck on the fourth song or is it done? :)
no news since october 17,im curious about the album.
btw is it 13 songs because its an unlucky number?

Nov. 22, 2009 | 5:04 PM Bad-Man-Incorporated responds:

checka your page, chicko